Same Old Questions

Here I am another night (or early morning depending on how I count it), awake and stressing over the future and what I am suppose to be doing. Every few weeks someone will still ask me one of the following questions, or some variation on these, “what do you want to be when you grow up”, or “what do you want to do with your life”? Getting these questions can really frustrate me. I have been working at my job for three years next month, I like my job 80 percent of the time (which I figure is pretty good!), and I am good at my job.

No, working as a small business manager in hospitality is not what I pictured myself doing as a kid. I thought I would be a great musician, or a doctor who would changed lives, or some rich and powerful CEO. Yet, looking at my little piece of the world I don’t regret my small contribution; even though my life is nothing like I pictured it would be, I am okay with this. I had a conversation with my mother a few weeks ago about this very topic, and while I know the people who asking the questions only want to be interested and loving it can be hard to feel like the path I have chosen is not good enough. Maybe that isn’t what people mean by these questions, but that is often how I feel.

While I was thinking about this again tonight I remembered a song I came across last week after listening to Showtunes Saturday Night. "I Stand" is sung by Idina Menzel and re-listening to it tonight, the very beginning of the song just struck a chord. I’m not sure if it makes me feel better, or just less like I am alone in my frustrations, when I think about these lyrics: "When you ask me, who I am:/What is my vision? And do I have a plan?/Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?/I hear the words in my head, but I push them away."


PS. This week, from Idina’s youtube page, I heard about and then got a chance to watch the DVD of Chess in Concert: Live from Royal Albert Hall. That was a wonderful set of performances and I would recommend it to anyone! I could really relate to the feeling of being a chess piece in someone else’s game and just trying to find the best ways to live in the situation you find yourself in.

Cookies!

In the spirit of appreciating moments…this last week I made Scott cookies (well I actually ate at least ½ of them, so I guess technically I made them for me too!). He is even pickier than me about desserts. He doesn’t like desserts at most places or store bought stuff, like cookies. So I decided to surprise him, while he was at work, and have fresh chocolate chip cookies for him when he got home.

I had forgotten some how much I love the simple act of baking, and how much yummier my cookies are than say, the chips ahoy ones. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures, maybe next time. Only bad part…we ran out of cookies yesterday. :( So now I am craving home made cookies! Maybe brownies will have to be on the schedule tomorrow. Hmmmmmmm :D

Moments

I started this blog as a place to record and share those special moments in my life. Along the way, I started thinking that my life is just the same day to day. I had nothing "big" going on so I had nothing to really add here. Then, as life got busier, I didn't even take the time to add in the fun, big events I did have.

Driving home from work, earlier this week, a song came on the radio. It struck a chord in me and had me tearing up (not the best thing to do when driving). Listening to it I thought, "I want to find out who sang this song and share it on my blog". Yet, instead of getting on here when I got home, I got caught up in "stuff" again and somewhat lost the message of sharing my thoughts the song provoked.
After a busy and productive, but relaxing, day today; I was getting ready for bed and for no reason the chorus of this song popped back into my head. So tonight sleep gets to wait. I decided that sometimes the best thing I can do for me is to pause and realize how special moments really are before they slip away again.

So here it is, the song that got me to write on here again. And hopefully more often. One of the most powerful influences in my life has always been music. When I can't find the right words to say what I am feeling and thinking, I am able to find a song to express myself through. I am so thankful for the blessing of music in my life.


The Breath You Take
Sung by George Strait
Songwriters: Beathard, Casey Michael; Dillon, Dean; Dillon, Jessie Jo

He looks up from second base/Dad’s up in the stands/He saw the hit, the run, the slide/There ain’t no bigger fan

In the parking lot after the game/He said, “Dad, I thought you had/A plane to catch?”/He smiled and said, “Yeah, son, I did”

Chorus: But life’s not the breath you take/ The breathing in and out/That gets you through the day/Ain’t what it’s all about

You just might miss the point/Tryin’ to win the race/Life’s not the breaths you take/But the moments that take your breath away

Fast forward fifteen years/And a thousand miles away/Boy’s built a life, he’s got a wife/And a baby due today

He hears a voice saying, “I made it son”/Says, “I told you dad/You didn’t have to come”/He smiles and says, “Yeah, I know you did”

Chorus: But life’s not the breath you take/ The breathing in and out/That gets you through the day/Ain’t what it’s all about

You just might miss the point/Trying to win the race/Life’s not the breaths you take/But the moments that take your breath away

Just like it took my breath/When she was born/Just like it took my breath away/When dad took his last that morn’

Chorus: Life’s not the breath you take/The breathing in and out/That gets you through the day/Ain’t what it’s all about

You just might miss the point/Trying to win the race/Life’s not the breaths you take/But the moments that take your breath away

(one of the places I found the lyrics is: http://www.metrolyrics.com/breath-you-take-lyrics-george-strait.html)