Do you believe in a cosmic power that controls our lives? Whether that power is God, Fate, or something else?
Some days it feels like the world is conspiring to make you do or not do something. Is this some amazing power or just life? And if it is a higher power, are all the problems in life road blocks detouring us to another path? Or are they barriers we are suppose to work around to better appreciate the end goal?
Today I had a really fun, great opportunity to go to Las Vegas and hang with friends. A last minute invite that I felt guilty taking because I worried about walking away from all my duties. Yet, I talked to my dad and he said he hoped he had taught me not only responsibility but also enjoyment of life. So I decided I was going to go. Take the weekend and play.
I am single, have a good paying job and a stable life. I should do something for me, who knows if an opportunity like this will come again! Or if it does, if my life will be in a place where I could take the opportunity like I can now. (No kids, no pets, nothing to stop a weekend away.)
Yet, from the minute I made the decision to go to Vegas, things seemed to go wrong. Several things came up at work that have to be dealt with before 10 am Monday morning. Also, I got an email about my saturday class indicating something that I should not miss. Lastly, when I got online to tell my friend I was coming down, within two minutes of logging on, the entire "ning" network went down and I couldn't coordinate the trip!
So are these all hurdles to overcome or things to stop me? Am I weak because I took everything as a sign that going is not the right decision afterall? Am I not working hard enough? Minutes after that my decision the network came back up (it was offline for over three hours!).
And why would some higher power go to such extremes to stop me from having a weekend to myself? Is life really coincidences or some greater planning? And is it egotistical to assume that some huge thing like an entire network going down is a sign to me? Or am I reading too much into my situations?
A little chance to do some painting
2 years ago
Sometimes I think the best thing to do is just not ask. I call it faith. :)
ReplyDeleteTaking a page from Erik's book, I'm writing as I read, so you are getting it stream-of-conscious.
ReplyDeleteFirst question answered first: I believe in a caring eternal Heavenly Father who guides our lives as much as we'll allow it. I believe in Satan who would do everything in his unholy power to turn us away from that loving God. I do not believe anyone, God, Devil, Mortal, Fate, or Chaos CAN control our lives. The only time anyone controls our lives is if they convince us they can.
Now, does it feel like there is a mass conspiracy? Oh, yeah. And there even are a few big ones fighting to shape or skew perspective. Still, the final choice to accept or reject what others would have us believe, or accept or reject what we would believe of ourselves, is ultimately our own choice and responsibility. You, our family, and our friends are the very ones who reminded me of that this last week.
Also to make it more complex is that you are right, life and the events therein are a mixture of divine intervention (both heavenly and hell), consequences of other mortal's choices, and the little tidbits that fit in the nooks and crannies left over. What, then, is significant? Whatever you choose to be. If everything was taken from you and all you had were the clothes you were wearing while standing on a rainy street corner in strange town, would that be important? Or would that only be a bump and seeing a sunrise - something that happens every day - be the pinnacle of importance? Or perhaps something else between or entirely different. As traumatic as the example is, even then it is actually your choice.
Of course, that only makes it harder. Accountability does that.
It's sad to hear that everything piled up to incline you to not go. But don't forget, perspective is everything. What if you had gone? Would you have been able to have carefree fun? Or would you have fretted about everything there was not getting done at home? Maybe it was a larger sign. Maybe it wasn't. If your life is better for it because you choose it to be so, then that is a sign (your choices, not the circumstance) that the choice to go on a weekend trip or not was significant.
I think you might have actually had fun, but ruined it when you came back and had a guilt trip about all that was piled up waiting. You do that so well. It is sometimes a strength but mostly, and I say this with full sisterly love, a weakness - your true weakness. You tried more than hard enough to go, there was no weakness there. Did you hear that? There was no weakness on your part for doing all you could and finally choosing to stay to work.
Still, get off the internet! Go. Now. Take an hour and do your favorite things. Soak in a bath. Read a light novel. Watch a saved DVR event. Eat chocolate. Or all at once! But time to do those things you love. You wanted a break, you deserve a break, you need a break, and your loved ones are now going to fret until they know you are happy again. Go. The world, and all its conspiracies WILL wait. If not, forward their calls to me, I'll play secretary and bouncer for you while you relax. * hugs and loves *
OMG holly dear, I know exactly how that feels. Let me tell you now that I was put in a similar situation a while back and regret that I didn't listen to the "Signs" that were telling me "NO don't do it!!!" Well I did it... and to this day I still feel quilty for it, although at a different perspective it could be seen as 'good for me'.
ReplyDeleteMy point is that I understand.
I don't know how much I believe in God or a Higher Power but I certainly do believe in a certain amount of Intuition.
I believe you have the right to make any choice by complete free will, but at the same time I also feel that there is a certain power that can tell us that it's a bad idea, but being the hypocrit that I am I also believe that that is called paranoia!
So... in short. If you really want this. GO! Your dad is absolutely right. When are you going to get the chance to go party it up with the cast of Twilight again?! Everything else can and will wait for you. The sun will still come up in the morning even if you neglect your group or your work. If going is going to make you feel so guilty that you can't have fun then don't go, but at the same token if not going is going to make you regret it for the rest of your life then GO.
I will never be able to say I believe it Fait 100%, but your right, when things like that happen it's hard not to believe it. LOL
My advice, don't listen to it and decide for youself.
I hope you can smile at the end of your decision.
I love you.
Let us know what you decide. You have me all curious now. :D
(sorry for the insane ranting)
I personally believe that not all coincidences are coincidental. Sometimes God takes a hand, sometimes it really is just a coincidence. The trick is being able to tell the difference. If you discover this trick, let me know! ;)
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, pray about it. If you have a good feeling, go. If not, that bath thing sounded like a really good idea! :)
Wow it sounds like you were not meant to go on that trip.
ReplyDeleteMay I allowed to give some of my thoughts here. God always in control and never blink. Every thing happen has its own purpose. Have faith in Him and let the Holy Spirit to guide you along. No doubt He has given us the free will to choose, but we have stayed connected with Him all the times. We need to spend time to read His word so as to understand Him better. From there, our faith can only grow and we have to be serious about it. Check the bible out and I am more than happy to share my experience with you, God bless.
ReplyDelete